Not long ago, I lost a dear friend, Deanna Jo. When I first learned of her passing, I was in shock, and in some ways, I still am. Whenever her face appears in my Facebook feed, grief squeezes my heart. Right after her passing, I said she was one of the best people I’d ever met. I feel that even more now than I did then. When I first began to tell my story, she was one of a handful of people who I felt truly believed me. She sat with me through so many Zoom calls. Sometimes we laughed at how crazy it all was, and other times she held space for me to cry. I always felt supported and never judged. We both left The United Pentecostal Church, but we ended up in very different places. I’m sure it will not surprise you that I’m wary of some Christians. I was never wary of Deanna. She kept her faith but also kept her humanity. She showed me love and acceptance, and I will forever be grateful for that.
As I stand on the edge of publishing my book, I’m looking back with gratitude. If I hadn’t been met with so much support early on, I would’ve never even attempted to write a book. I know I’ve said this a million times, writing a book is hard, much harder than you ever expect it to be. My memoir has challenged me to face trauma I wasn’t even fully aware of before I started writing. It has been an educational journey, but more so, it has been a healing journey. Knowing I have people in my corner who believe me and believe in me has kept me going through the hard days. I have no idea how my book will be received, but I do know that no matter what happens, my friends will be there for me.
Deanna Jo was special, and I’m so glad I carry a piece of her in my heart. When the book launches, I will be thinking of her. When the fall decor hits the stores, I will miss our excited messages and photo exchanges. When some UPC person says something unhinged to me, I will want to run and talk it over with her. I’m sad we lost her but so grateful I counted her as my friend while she was here.